Not Worth It
by black-hair-rapunzel
Summary: He gave her a moment, filled with promises. ExB


Disclaimer: I'm only borrowing Bella and Edward for a short time, I promise to bring them back safely. I own nothing, everything is courtesy of the wonderful, Stephenie Meyer.

I pretended not to notice how hard my heart was beating, the mere thought of his arrival soon , kick starting my adrenaline , causing me to pace my room, my hands wringing impossibly tight. As soon as I saw him in the meadow that day, I knew, fully that I was all at once, Edward's love. The beauty that he revealed to me entranced me, even though I had already been taken by him before, this some how solidified it for me. Of course, who am I kidding, Edward could just smile and I'd melt like an ice cream cone on a hot Phoenix day, but there was something that day, something more intimate, something that held me even closer to him.

A slight breeze blew and I instantly knew that he was there, the pale moonlight casting its ethereal glow into my room, his shadow being the only tangible evidence of his presence. It's taken me so long to remember that he usually didn't breathe and that his movements were so silent, that I should've acknowledged it by heart now. Instead, I was slightly annoyed, but struck, none the same, as he approached, his swiftness putting him right at my side.

"Nice entrance," I said as he held me closer to him, the welcoming cold tingling at my spine. "One day, you'll have to teach me how to do it."

His grip tightened on my waist as he leaned down, his breath cooling my neck as his lips traced my skin, working its way to my ear, "Not if I can help it, love. It's doors for you."

"Edward..."

"Not going to discuss it tonight, Bella. Tonight, I want you to come away with me."

"Tonight?" my eyes widened in anticipation, thinking that maybe tonight, he would honor my request. I turned around to face him, his eyes simmering in golden pools, their alluring gaze doing their job. Closing mine, I placed a hand on his skin, the hardness now a comforting sensation to me. "Where are we going?"

"To the meadow," he responded simply as if it held no meaning. I could see other wise. His eyes betrayed his cool temperament, the excitement visible to me. "I enjoyed myself rather nicely the last time, and since the moon is so bright, I was thinking..."

"A romantic stroll in the moonlight?" I asked, gasping in mock horror even as he drew me closer. I eyed his lips as he inched slowly towards mine, my eyes hooding over slightly, "You know I don't need theatrics when you are around, Edward."

"All the same, Bella, just come with me," he smirked, the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

I sighed heavily and shook my head as he gently grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the window, taking me into his arms easily. Before I knew it, we were on the ground, not a sound giving us away, not that Charlie would've heard anyway with the game in full swing. I was sure that I could spend the majority of the night with Edward in the meadow, and Charlie would be none the wiser.

I looked around for his silver Volvo, already knowing the distance to the meadow, and to my chagrin, I didn't see it, "Edward, where's your car?"

"I decided to forgo the car tonight, it's such a beautiful night, don't you think? No clouds, no rain," he whispered almost, looking into my eyes. The moonlight behind him had me spell bound and for that moment, I forgot to breathe. "No use in wasting such a great night."

Breathing began again and I nodded, "Y- Yes, no use whatsoever." I was blubbering like an idiot... again. Often, I thought that I wasn't the right match for him, his refined qualities intermingling with my normal, mundane ones just didn't seem to complete each other, but somehow, our love transcended all of that. Through some form of miracle, I was worth it to him, even if I wasn't to myself.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, tilting my chin upwards, his devastating smile nearly handicapping me.

"How is all of this possible? I'm...I'm not worth all of this."

"All of what?" he asked, genuinely confused. It probably amazed him that I still felt inadequate to him, despite his constant reassurances and loving tones. "You are worth more than I could ever imagine, Bella. You are worth my life, a million times over."

"Stop it," I said my tone dry and undefined. Even as he said the words, even as I felt them resonating deep within my soul, I still didn't believe him. I still felt that if he had the chance, he would leave, and this would have only been a dream- I lovely dream, but a dream nonetheless. "It's bad enough that you are taking me out for a walk in the moonlight. That should only be reserved for truly deserving romantics."

Instead of answering me, he pulled me into his arms and smiled, shifting me to his back in one fluid movement. "Hold on, silly."

And with that, we were off, the dense trees of the forest passing swiftly on our side, the wind flowing around us, almost as if we were aerodynamically made for travel such as this. The first time he ran with me, I was mortified, but now, it was acceptable. I trusted him with my life, as well as my heart. Placing my head on his back, I sighed in content, the air changing somewhat as he moved deftly in between the trees, the sounds of the nocturnal creatures greeting us in chorus. With the exception of my first trip to his meadow, I had never been this deep in the woods before in the day, much less the night, and for a split second, I could imagine, even feel unseeing eyes watching us. I gripped onto him tighter and he responded somewhat, his speed picking up even more. Even though he couldn't read my thoughts, he knew my motions, and he knew that a form of distress was creeping up on me.

Soon he slowed and I looked up to see the amazing and now familiar clearing, it's perfect circle welcoming us. Just as the sun had filtered through the canopy of trees in the day, the pale moonlight had no trouble, its beams reflecting off of the drops of rain on the trees that never seemed to dissipate. There was nothing threatening about this meadow, only comfort, a comfort that I've never quite gotten used to, but enjoyed. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought to have seen such beauty at night, and looking towards Edward, I knew he was the only one who could, and would provide me with such beauty for eternity. Now, if only I could sell him on the idea of actually providing me with eternity.

"This is...is beautiful, Edward," I said breathlessly. "I don't know which is better, the sunlight, or the moonlight."

"It doesn't matter much," Edward responded, slipping his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "The only thing that matters is that you are here with me, nothing else...not even eternity. The moment, now," he breathed as he leaned towards me, his cold lips ghosting mine, "now is what matters."

I could do nothing but allow the momentum to continue, and his lips found mine once more, the kiss igniting something deep within myself. My heart threatened to burst from my chest, and then faltered as he pulled away, the same annoying reserve beginning to show. A frown made way to my face and I wrapped my arms around his neck, the notion of pulling him down for more running through my head. I already knew his stance on going further, but I couldn't resist. His kiss, his touch was like a drug, and I desired it more with each passing second.

"No fair," I pouted as he took my arms from his neck, his smirk irritating me to the up most. The one true thing...well, the second one true thing I desired was not being fulfilled.

"Bella," he started as he gazed into my eyes more, the golden orbs seeming to glow more. I was truly mesmerized, again, my efforts to breathe alluding me. For a moment, we stood there, the silence encasing us wholly as I matched his gaze, my mind telling me that my plain eyes held nothing for him to desire. His face contorted, but beautifully so, into a light frown, his brow crinkling, "Now, you stop it. I brought you here to show you something, well, more so promise you something..."

My eyes lit as my mind raced, thinking that he may have had a second thought to his refusal to take me to immortality, "Edward...you will?"

"No," he said, his voice tinged in firmness. "I still will not do that, Bella. I brought you here to promise you forever."

"Okay, promise me forever?" I asked, arching my brow, keeping his gaze. "That oddly sounds like you have considered my request."

"You know, sometimes, you have a one track mind. I guess that's apart of your allure."

"You say the sweetest things, Edward," I responded almost too sharply. "Mind letting me in on it?"

"Certainly," he said smoothly, his hands coming to my shoulders. Holding them within his icy grasp, he turned me towards the center of the clearing where the moon shone most. "It was there I revealed to you what I looked like in the sunlight. It's there that I want to promise you."

"Why can't you just do it here? There's moonlight everywhere," I protested.

"Humor me, please, Bella." He took my hand and started walking, not even waiting for my response. When he got to the clearing, he stopped and looked up, a small smile coming over him. "On a night like this, promises will never be broken."

"Never?" my voice asked, ever hopeful.

"Never," he repeated ,his stern. He lightly touched my cheek with the back of his and closed his eyes, savoring the heat that was now coming in torrents. "I've struggled with maintaining your welfare, Bella, even when I knew that I was in love with you. I've sacrificed my longing, in order to spare your life, just so I could be in it. My love for you...for you, Bella," he said as he opened his eyes and stared deeply into mine. "For you, is more powerful than you can imagine. It is that love that I promise to you forever."

"Forever is relative, Edward. I will grow old, become less desirable."

"You will never be less desirable, Bella. Never to me. As much as I oppose the idea of turning you, I can unequivocally say that I will always be there, no matter what, as long as you want me there."

I broke his gaze, realizing then that he would stand fast against my wishes to become like him so that I could love him forever. The tears fought valiantly to spill as I turned away, glancing to the outlying trees, my heart breaking slightly. He didn't want me around long, apparently. Human life was frail at best- my life even more so delicate. I couldn't fathom a moment without him, much less a life time, and yet as we stood in the moonlight, I couldn't be angry with his view. Actually, it took me that he thought more of my soul than to succumb to his own will. Even though, I was still saddened.

"That's just the thing, Edward, you have forever, I do not. I will become weaker than I am now..."

"You are far from weak, Bella," he chided gently. "I will be there, for everything."

"But not for eternity," I finished. "That's all I'm asking, Edward, to be able to love you forever."

"It's not worth it."

"It's worth everything to me," I responded quietly, looking up at the sky. At that precise moment, I saw it, a shooting star. My mind raced, remembering the song I had heard when I was younger, more gullible, about wishing upon stars and I retained my sight to him, my words falling quickly, "Promise me eternity, Edward. Promise me that we will be together for eternity." I knew I sounded desperate, but I had to hang my hope on something.

Caressing my cheek, he sighed and whispered, "For you, I promise eternity. I can never deny you, and ultimately, I know you will get what you desire. I just don't want it to come too soon."

"Soon isn't quick enough," I countered. It was now my turn to close in the gap between us, my hands tracing his chest up towards his neck as I tilted my head some. The impending kiss electrified me and my heart skipped a beat before silencing as his lips met mine. The disparity was evident in my caress and my hands wound in his auburn hair, trying my best to hold him closer to me. But just like always, he pulled back at the last minute and smiled. I sighed and relented, for the most part, satisfied that a promise was made.

Fin


End file.
